


I Love You

by WaywardSister24601



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel Death, Dead Castiel (Supernatural), Gay, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Castiel (Supernatural), I Don't Even Know, I Love You, I Will Go Down With This Ship, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Sad, Supernatural - Freeform, Taylor Swift helped me write this, castiel - Freeform, i cried, idk how to tag, its really bad tbh, no beta we die like real men, post 15x18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:06:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28555845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardSister24601/pseuds/WaywardSister24601
Summary: Dean has never really meant any on his I Love You's. And he never thought his first time he said it where he meant it with his whole heart would be with his back to a cold basement wall with tears falling down his face.  (This is super short and not very good, lol)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 12





	I Love You

Dean Winchester was not the emotional type. He was never the one to cry during Titanic (though a few tears did fall when he was forced to watch Marley and Me), never the one to talk about his feelings with those who just wanted to help him, and he was never one to say “I love you.” He could count on one hand the number of times he had said it to someone who wasn’t his family. Maybe it was because he could never find the right person, maybe it was because everyone he had ever said it too had left him. He never really did figure it out. And he never thought his first time he said it where he meant it with his whole heart would be with his back to a cold basement wall with tears falling down his face. 

They had met in the spring. A dilapidated barn covered in every warding sigil that Dean and Bobby knew. They thought, "demon, evil, death.” But when the door burst open and he walked in, something screamed, “good, love, LIFE.” 

“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

Dean didn’t know then. He didn’t know that this cosmic being of power, would become his family. He didn’t know that their story would be one that is sung from mountain tops, and whispered to small children to get them to sleep. He didn’t know that this angel named Castiel would be his “I love you”.

“Yeah, well thanks for that.”

They spent the years together, side by side. Sometimes closer than Dean wanted them to be, or so he said. He ignored the way his heart started to beat fast when ever the angel was near. He ignored the way their blue eyes seemed to see into his very soul. He ignored pang of jealousy that he felt when Meg kissed them, or when the incident with April the reaper happened. He ignored how he felt when Cas had said, “I love you, I love all of you,” because he knew its was not meant for only him to hold in his hand like a small bird that could patch his broken wings. He ignored it all because it hurt too much. 

For 12 years he fought, and he killed, and he put off the emotions. He chalked them all up to him own champagne problems, knowing that there were more important things to worry about. When they left, and he didn’t stop them, Dean started to worry that he would never get the chance to say he was sorry. He was sorry for all the shit that had ever happened to them, and every time he didn’t say goodbye. 

He got his chance to say it while kneeling by an oak tree in the place where he never wanted to return to. Dean spoke of forgiveness, and anger, and he almost said it. But he stopped himself from using this moment. He would wait until it was over, until he could muster up enough courage to be rejected by the love of his life. 

"Curse me for falling in love with an angel who could never feel the same way I do.”

“I love you”

Time stopped, he didn’t know what to do, what to say. He froze. 

“Don’t do this.”

Not now, please not now, stay.

Stay.

“Good bye, Dean”

And they were gone.

And Dean was alone on the cold basement floor, with a bloody hand print of his shoulder, and his heart broken into a million pieces.

Through his tears and sobs and yells, his said softly, almost a whisper,

“I love you, too"

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is really bad, but I had a lot of feelings to get out. If you have any tips, please leave them in the comments. Love y'all hellers <3


End file.
